Wow. I've never used this before.

I just need to write, I guess. Both my art and writing helps me deal with my emotions, but lately I haven't felt much like drawing because I'm so drained. Part of it is my work load - which I brought on to myself, I admit - and part of it is just my own messed up confusion.
I'm really sick of feeling this way now, I feel like I've lost my creativity, lost my ability to inspire (if I ever had one, that is) and lost everything that makes me useful in society.
Now all that's left is just a sense of waiting and yearning, flashes of emotion that never seem to be as indelible as they once were.
I wish I could find something to reflect exactly how I feel.
I wish I did not have to drag my friends down with me.
And I wish that I had never opened myself up to such incredible vulnerability, because I am paying for it now. The scary part is that I no longer feel like I have anything to pay with, and I don't want to become an excuse of a person.
I don't know. I just... don't know.